Why I Dance
There have been countless times when people I meet have asked why I dance. They appreciate the art of dance but don't understand why, would deal with the bruises, sourness and injuries that come with it. They ask how can you handle standing on your toes for hours? And I always smile cause to be, dance isn't about the pain. Dance is my escape from the pain i have experienced in my life.
My three years in middle school I see as the worst years of my life. In seventh grade I found out that I had depression. As a young girl I alway felt that I was distant from everyone my age. I wanted to be left a lone, but at the same time I wanted to scream at someone to ask how I was. I wondered if everyone else felt like this. Was this a part of growing up? I started to feel like no one cared and more importantly I didn't care. I went emotionally numb, I didn't feel anything. When I was told that I had depression I thought this was it, that everything was going to be okay now; that I was going to be okay. But there was still a weight on my heart that held me down. But my salvation in the darkness, was the only time I felt that weight lift, just enough so that I could once again breathe. Dance, that one time of the day, where I could forget everything for forty-five minutes. And those forty-five were magical a time where I could grow wing a fly, forty-five minutes were I could feel and express myself with out saying a word. And made all the difference.
At the conclusion of my eighth grade year I was also diagnosed with an anxiety and PTSD disorder. And once again the relief that came form naming the monster in my head didn't make it go away, it now just had a name. I had so many questions about everything that was happening inside my head. But there we no clear answer, and no magic pill to make it go away, to make me okay. But I continued to persevere in dance onto high school. Dance had structure and creativity were I had all the answers I wanted. I loved the structure of each movement, and how I could make it my own and be creative with each step. I loved what dance brought out of me, I was passionate and motivated to do something for the first time that I could really remember. I began laughing daily, and the euphoric feeling that shoot through me the more I moved was indescribable. Through dance I got to know and understand myself, that what I though I wanted wasn't what I truly needed. I didn't understand that happiness wasn't a destination it's a condition, a mood. It ebbs and flows like the tide.
As I dancer, my goal is to always keep improving. I know that I want to continue to learn and grow as a dancer in collage. I wish to push myself and test my limits as a dancer because I thrive off of hard work. Over the last five years dance has become like breathing to me. And I am dancing and choreographing all of the time, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Dance is my way of Life.
There have been countless times when people I meet have asked why I dance. They appreciate the art of dance but don't understand why, would deal with the bruises, sourness and injuries that come with it. They ask how can you handle standing on your toes for hours? And I always smile cause to be, dance isn't about the pain. Dance is my escape from the pain i have experienced in my life.
My three years in middle school I see as the worst years of my life. In seventh grade I found out that I had depression. As a young girl I alway felt that I was distant from everyone my age. I wanted to be left a lone, but at the same time I wanted to scream at someone to ask how I was. I wondered if everyone else felt like this. Was this a part of growing up? I started to feel like no one cared and more importantly I didn't care. I went emotionally numb, I didn't feel anything. When I was told that I had depression I thought this was it, that everything was going to be okay now; that I was going to be okay. But there was still a weight on my heart that held me down. But my salvation in the darkness, was the only time I felt that weight lift, just enough so that I could once again breathe. Dance, that one time of the day, where I could forget everything for forty-five minutes. And those forty-five were magical a time where I could grow wing a fly, forty-five minutes were I could feel and express myself with out saying a word. And made all the difference.
At the conclusion of my eighth grade year I was also diagnosed with an anxiety and PTSD disorder. And once again the relief that came form naming the monster in my head didn't make it go away, it now just had a name. I had so many questions about everything that was happening inside my head. But there we no clear answer, and no magic pill to make it go away, to make me okay. But I continued to persevere in dance onto high school. Dance had structure and creativity were I had all the answers I wanted. I loved the structure of each movement, and how I could make it my own and be creative with each step. I loved what dance brought out of me, I was passionate and motivated to do something for the first time that I could really remember. I began laughing daily, and the euphoric feeling that shoot through me the more I moved was indescribable. Through dance I got to know and understand myself, that what I though I wanted wasn't what I truly needed. I didn't understand that happiness wasn't a destination it's a condition, a mood. It ebbs and flows like the tide.
As I dancer, my goal is to always keep improving. I know that I want to continue to learn and grow as a dancer in collage. I wish to push myself and test my limits as a dancer because I thrive off of hard work. Over the last five years dance has become like breathing to me. And I am dancing and choreographing all of the time, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Dance is my way of Life.